


Could You Be Loved?

by Amoamicah



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: (they both lied), Alternate Universe - No Squips (Be More Chill), Boys In Love, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Gay Panic, M/M, Michael Mell Needs a Hug, Rich Goranski Being an Asshole, Rich is a dick, Someone stop Jake from getting an STD, Teen Angst, Teenage Drama, They're on a little field trip, it'll be fun jeremy said, no homo rich said, this whole shebang is gonna go horribly someone stop them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2020-10-06 21:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoamicah/pseuds/Amoamicah
Summary: Things don't go well on a Juniors Only Theater/Acting competition in Washington when Michael Mell gets hit with feelings for his old friend Rich Goranski. 7 minutes of heaven seemed like 7 minutes in purgatory to Michael. Confusion and frustration ensues.





	1. A Hellish Field Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Aiyayai. Well, I can say this for sure, I'm not redeleting this. I had to before because I was stuck. And i felt so shitty about myself. But now I have time to post and you're damn wrong if you think I'm not gonna.
> 
> I'm using Addarna's headcanon of BMC, but with a twist, since this is a different AU all together.

**Sunday, 9th September**

**18:23**

“We’re here!” Mr Reyes’ loud voice made almost everyone in the bus jump. “Everyone, up! We’ve arrived!”

Michael was still asleep while everyone else got their bags and started piling out of the bus, his music blaring in his ears. A tap on the shoulder made him jolt awake, headphones falling down to his neck. “Hu- Jeremy?” He looked up at the taller male, bleary-eyed. “Are we here?” 

Jeremy smiled, amused, and nodded, pointing at the drool on Michael’s chin and Michael immediately tugged at his sleeve, pulling it up to his face and rubbing the drool off. “Yeah, just arrived a few minutes ago. Everyone’s already out, come on.” 

Michael yawned and stretched, acting like a lazy cat. Which...he technically was. If cats could play video games and smoke weed.

Wait- catnip counts as weed for cats, so it's settled. He's a cat.

He got out of the bus after grabbing his computer bag, Jeremy waiting for him beside the bus. Once he got out, Jeremy handed him his duffel bag filled with clothes and he murmured a thank you, taking it before looking forward, seeing Mr Reyes do a headcount. 

“Thirteen...fourteen...fifteen...sixteen...seventeen...eighteen- yep, everyone’s out. Great. Here are the rules-” As their drama/performing arts teacher went on about the rules, and where they'll be sleeping, Michael looked up, seeing the house that they'll be staying in for the week of the competition.

Washington. They're in Washington. It sucked that the school couldn’t afford a few hotel rooms, but this house that they had rented for a week seemed okay. And it was big enough for all nineteen people. 

“-I'll be sleeping in the downstairs room, and you will all be sleeping in the upstairs rooms. There are three rooms, so each room will have six people. There are six beds in each room- God it was so hard to find a homestay with the exact amount of beds, so you are all very lucky. But remember the rules. No sex, no alcohol, no sneaking out. I'm in charge of all of you, if anything happens, your parents will surely sue me and nobody would want that.” Mr Reyes pursed his lips, before shaking his head. “Text your parents or guardian that you've arrived once we settle in. Follow me.” Mr Reyes walked off, dragging his suitcase filled with clothes (seriously, he was the only male here who brought a  _ suitcase  _ full of clothes.). 

All the students followed Mr Reyes inside, Michael closing the door behind him, being the last person to enter. “This is the living room, and it connects to the dining room.” Their chaperone pointed at the room, and continued talking, giving them a brief tour of the place they'd be living in for the next week.

“So, any questions?” Mr Reyes asked, turning to look at them, but nobody responded. “Alright then, you can go choose your room and bed, and please, all of you are juniors, going to be seniors in less than five months. Don't argue about who gets what.”

They nodded, and as soon as Mr Reyes let them leave, they all rushed to the rooms, Michael and Jeremy included. They had dibs on the two beds near the biggest window in the second room, it was a pretty sight and Michael wanted so badly to get that bed.

And they got it. Well, Michael did. It took the person, Callum, on the other bed some persuasion to let Jeremy take the bed. One of them being that Michael snores really loudly, so Callum wouldn't be able to sleep if he was a light sleeper. With that, Callum left immediately and murmured a 'good luck’ to Jeremy, making Michael laugh. If anything, Jeremy is the one who snores in his sleep. Michael’s a deep sleeper, but he doesn't snore. Not since his mothers had sent him to the hospital when he still had sinusitis, a few years back. Since he had gotten that cleared out, after the operation, his snores had subsided. “Snoring, huh?”

Jeremy rubbed his nape, grinning sheepishly. “I panicked.”

The good thing about their room is that not only does it have a big walk-in closet in the right corner of the room where the guys can put all their bags without the bags being in the way, there was an amazing view from the window that Michael was so attracted to.

The bad thing about their room...well...the people in it. Callum’s a good guy, well, to Michael is was. He, like Michael, buys his weed from Christine’s step-brother, Dustin. They've bonded over that once. Other than that, they've never really spoken to each other. Michael planned to keep it that way, he wasn't the most social person. He's only had two best friends in his lifetime, and one of them left him after he had come out to the guy as gay. That...that sucked. But at least Jeremy’s still he(e)re. Their friendship was still going strong, despite how Michael desperately wanted them to be more than friends.

Well, we can't all have what we want.

Anyways, the people in their room. Callum, another drama geek named Gregory, Jake Dillinger….and Rich Goranski. 

“Jake, did you bring the alcohol?”

_ I swear to God… _

“Excuse me- I-... didn't Mr Reyes say that we can’t drink alcohol?” Jeremy, the poor innocent boy, said to Rich and Jake, and Rich snorted. 

“To hell with that, the competition isn't until Tuesday. We have tomorrow to ourselves.”

“To practice.” Jeremy frowned. 

“We’ll go easy on the alcohol.” Rich looked irritated, looking at Jeremy, before his eyes flickered towards Michael, but Michael broke his gaze, looking away. “Okay, tall-ass?”

“Yeah...yeah, I guess.” Jeremy mumbled, and kept quiet after that. After the boys in that room had changed, went to wash up, and had kept their bags in the top and bottom shelf at the far end of the walk-in closet, Rich spoke up.

“We’re gonna hang out in this room, all of us, we're gonna play some games and drink some beer. So, you two geeks gonna join us or would you rather stay downstairs and watch Mean Girls with Mr Reyes?”

Michael cringed at that, and shook his head. “We’ll stay.” 

Rich was surprised that Michael replied to him, but didn't respond with anything but a nod, before directing his attention to Jake, laughing at something he had said. 

Rich Goranski. The name brought up a lot of bad memories between them. Before he was Rich, he was Dick.

Before he was Rich, he was Michael’s best friend.


	2. Playing Shitty Teen Party Games With People Michael Hated, Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play a little game. And teenage peer pressure ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm glad you guys like it, I'm planning on posting twice a month, so once every two weeks or so but I'll update you if there are any changes!  
If you'd like to keep up to date about any updates, check out my Instagram @amoamicah
> 
> much love, micah

Sunday,** 9th September**

23:48 PM

"Is everything ready?" Rich questioned the others, looking around. There were snacks, mainly big packs of chips and Twinkies, a stack of cups they had snatched from the kitchen downstairs, and two 1.5 litre bottles of soda. Pepsi and Mountain Dew, to be exact. 

"I think so, yeah. The only thing we have to do is call the others over." Jake hummed before throwing his phone onto his bed and getting up. "But you can tick that off of the list, I just texted them. They'll be here any moment now." The boys were so excited. Most of them, at least. Surprisingly even _Jeremy _ was excited for tonight. Michael, though, didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be drinking alcohol and playing shitty teen party games with the people he hated. Quite frankly, he'd rather be downstairs watching a movie. Nothing bad could come out of that, right?

Unfortunately, he stayed. Because the only good part about this was that Jeremy was with him. And hey, wherever he went, Michael followed. Little did he know that Jeremy was going to follow after Christine Canigula all night like the lovestruck, cute ass puppy he is. "Alright!" Rich clasped his hands, snapping Michael out of it before turning to him and Jeremy who were on their beds. "You sure you're fine being here, you two?" He knew Michael was uncomfortable around a ton of people. Pretty sweet of him, but he's probably just asking to see if they'd leave since they're such bores...right? Right.

"I mean...better here than downstairs with Mr Reyes." Jeremy replied, making Rich snort. Michael pursed his lips. "Right, Micah?"

Michael looked at Jeremy, slightly panicked. Okay, he was put on the spot. But it's fine, he'll just lie a little.

It's sad. He keeps lying around Jeremy to keep him happy.

"Yeah, like..totally." He scoffed. "This is way cooler than watching a shitty old musical downstairs. I mean, what's the fun in that, right?"

Rich snapped his fingers, pointing at Michael with a lopsided grin that would make all the girls at school melt. "Exactamundo, my dude. Glad to have you here tonight.” Once Rich turned away, Michael let out a silent sigh, hugging himself. He turned to look at Jeremy, who seemed to be buzzing with happiness and excitement. And anxiousness. 

Despite his excited smile, Michael could see Jeremy fidgeting, worried about the whole thing. Michael would kill to know what his...best friend was thinking about. He wanted to be able to calm him down, but Jeremy's mind really just goes 1000 miles per hour. It's hard to catch up, even if they've been friends for eons. 

Reaching out, Michael tapped his friend's knee. “Jere?” Jeremy's head snapped to look at him, eyes wide, making a lil squeak in question. Oh God, he's adorable. “You know, it's okay if you don't want to do this, we can just go downstairs and join Mr Reyes. We-”

“It's _fine_, Michael,” Jeremy clicked his tongue, looking away from him before getting up. “Let's switch it up for once, have some fun!” 

“Yeah...fun.” Michael mumbled in response, bitter. 

Soon, the girls started piling in, bringing some gifts of their own. But let's not talk about that, shall we? The night was filled with laughter, drinking and games.

“Michael!” 

Michael looked up, a twinkie in his mouth. “Mmh?” Jake, of all people, gestured for him to come sit in the circle with them. He raised an eyebrow in response. Jake sighed, exasperated and definitely buzzed from alcohol. 

“Join us, let's play.” Jake gestured over-enthusiastically for him to come sit with him, once again. _No. Nononono, this isn't going to end well, Michael, you've been alone all night. Just walk out that door, be a party pooper. Protect yourself-_

Michael swallowed the twinkie and made his way to the circle after brief hesitation and a lot of thought. Yeah, a lot of thought, sure. He sat down beside Chloe and opposite of Gregory, fidgeting in his seat. 

“We all know the rules to this game, right?” Jake looked around, murmurs of yesses and mhms filled the room. ”Great. As a refresh, Seven Minutes in Heaven, you guys will be locked in that-” Jake pointed at the walk-in closet, “-closet for seven minutes, no phones allowed. I'm looking at you, Jenna.”

Jenna blinked, looking up before slowly keeping her phone in her pocket as everyone looked at her. 

Rich sighed, “Just put your phones aside, makes life easier.” And so they did set their phones aside on one of the beds before grabbing an empty bottle of beer. “Okay, let's start!”

The game was boring, really. Michael's gotten used to seeing people making out in halls that..well..he wasn't _that _traumatized over the whole thing. Well, besides the part where they opened the closet door to see Brooke half naked with Callum doing some...rather inappropriate stuff to her. That was not exactly a sight to behold, really. And then there was the little makeout session between Christine and Jake which upset Jeremy quite a bit, especially when Christine came out smiling, hair a mess. She liked it. It was obvious that Jake did too. Oh, poor Jere...

“Okay, okay.” Rich let out a little chuckle, already tipsy on his second beer (Jeez, even Michael can handle his beer better than this kid. Was that a lie? Who knows.). “My turn~” With that said, he spun the bottle, and the whole room went silent as it landed on...Michael.

“Oh.” They both said in unison, Michael in irritation and Rich in shock. Jake looked between them, then at the others, silent before clearing his throat. “I guess we'll be getting some gay action tonight, folks.” Jake joked, earning silent looks from a few of the girls, including Christine and Jeremy. Michael just looked disappointed, honestly. _How can this get any worse? Where's Mr Reyes when you need him?_

...Speaking of their teacher/chaperone of this trip, he's snoring on the couch downstairs, drooling with a box of donuts on his stomach. He was binging Mean Girls but only got went halfway through before ...he dozed off. But let's get back to the main characters of the story, shall we, kids?

“Oh stop that, you two. You look like you swallowed a dirty sock.” Jenna scoffed and got up. “Come on, up, up.” 

_Well, no use running now, Mell._

As Michael stood up, Jeremy grabbed his arm and he looked down at the boy. “Michael, you okay with this? I can ask them to stop if-”

Michael waved him off, “I'll be fine, Jere. We're switching it up for once, right?” He gave him a half hearted smile, pulling his arm out of his grip. Jeremy wasn't convinced, hell, he was shocked that Michael just shrugged him off at that. His mind reeled with questions. Did he do something wrong? Was Michael just being moody? That's probably it, yeah.

Michael didn't even stop to look at Rich as he walked into the closet, Jenna Rolan smiling almost deviously as she held the doorknob. Rich walked in after him and Jenna cleared her throat, “have fun, boys!” With that, she closed the door, and the click of a lock was heard. 

Michael leaned against the wall opposite the door, sliding down before sitting on the ground. They really wanted to do this, they even cleared the fucking closet out for this one measly little game that caused him to end up in this small shithole with Richard Goranski.

Oh, yeah.

It's just them.

Michael and Rich.

In the dark.

Alone. 

Pft, yes, Michael was obviously doing just dandy. _Just dandy, peachy, I'm absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about. It's just a guy. A guy who left you for other people because he couldn't accept you. Who started bullying you after freshman year, as if he's never met you. Who's suddenly-_

“Are you going to talk to me anytime soon? We've been in here for a full minute and the silence in here is killing me.” Rich snapped Michael out of his train of thought and the latter blinked before his frown just deepened, not responding. 

Rich pursed his lips, sitting down near him. “I'll take that as a no, then.” He muttered quietly. 

One minute turned into two. Two into three. Three into four-

“Okay, I've had it. What's up with you?” Rich crossed his arms. Really, the only light available was from a lil slit through the door. They could hear laughter and talking outside. Michael looked at him incredulously. 

“What's up with _me?_” 

Rich faced him, eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, _you._ You were fine an hour ago!”

He scoffed in response, taking his glasses off. It's not like he could see properly in the dark anyway. “Yeah, maybe being in here with you just ruined my whole mood.”

“Oh how _dare _you. I swear if you're going to bring up the past-”

Michael slapped his hand on his own lap, immaturely so. “You know what? I am! I'm sick and tired of how you pushed mearound and suddenly you act like you're such a fucking angel, like you've done no wrong. What is _wrong _with you?!” 

Rich gasped, scrunching his eyebrows. Now _he's _upset, great. This is great. “I-” A bang outside cut him off and they both turned to look at the door. 

“Mr Reyes!” They heard Jake say and something dropped. Oh shit..

“I left you kids alone to relax, not to do exactly what I told you not to do! All of you, to bed, _now!” _Gone was the dramatic, fun teacher they had, and in came the lion. They heard scrambling and girls ran out. A light click and the door slamming shut. 

Silence. A minute passed. Two. Nothing. Not even a whisper. Michael looked at Rich in horror. “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, subscribe and give kudos if you'd like to see more <3


	3. It's Not What it Looks Like, Not at All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, being stuck in a closet willingly is one thing. But Michael's already come out of the closet once, he's not willing to get stuck in the closet again. Especially not with Rich Goranski. Unfortunately, you can't always get what you wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh my god, hi guys! I'm sorry for the long, unannounced hiatus. As you all don't follow me on Twitter or Instagram, it's hard to update you guys on when I'm free to write. I had just quit my job so now, during quarantine, I have no excuse pfffft.
> 
> But I hope you enjoy! Thank you if you're still reading this and hello to the newcomers!

Monday, **10th September**

1:37 AM

It's been three minutes of utter silence since Mr Reyes left, Michael was getting antsy. Surely the boys weren't already asleep. Rich still looked upset, which didn't really help the situation. Michael sighed and got up, careful of the shelf above him and dusting himself off before going to the door and knocking. "Guys? We're still in here." Michael called out, trying to open the doors from the inside. Silence.Then he heard rustling on the other end, quiet voices before someone came up to the door. He cleared his throat. “Uh...hey, bud. Aha, bad news.” Jake said quietly from the other side. 

With that, Rich got up, going to the door too. They were close and Michael didn't like that. “What kind of bad news?” Rich asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

“We....we can't find the key. I think it's with Jenna.” 

Oh no.

Oh nononono.

Rich banged on the door, upset. “Then go get it, dumbass! Are we supposed to stay here the entire night?”

Jake sighed, used to his best friend's behavior. “That's the thing...we _can't _go out. Mr Reyes was pissed enough. I think we'd get our heads chewed off if we were to step foot outside of the room."

Michael leaned against the door, looking at Rich before looking away. Rich huffed. “Well I'm cold as hell in here and I'm not spending another _minute _with this guy. Get. Me. Out." He emphasized the three words. Gosh, a drama queen. 

Another voice was heard on the other end. Callum, most likely, with how low and gravelly the boy's voice was. “Well shit, Goranski. We can't always do what you want. This whole thing was your idea in the first place, wasn't it? You gotta deal with the consequences. We'll get the key in the morning before Mr Reyes comes in. That's just a few more hours away. You can deal, you won't get pneumonia.” 

“Hypothermia, Cal." And that was Gregory. 

Callum snorted, "same difference.”

Michael sighed, eyes closed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. This wouldn't change anything, being together for the night wouldn't change their relationship. It's not like the boys meant to do this, it just happened. They just had horrible timing. And Michael just had horrible luck. “Hey, guys. Go on and sleep, we can sleep in here just fine, I guess. See you in the morning.” Michael could practically _feel _Rich giving him his old 'what the fuck are you doing?' look but he ignored it.

“Well....I guess we'll see you in the morning, yeah." Jake sighed. "Night, guys."

And...they were alone. Once again. For way more than seven minutes. God was punishing Michael, he was sure of it. He couldn't think of another reason for why this would happen. Is it because he took his mom's socks to this trip? Or was it because he accidentally crushed a beetle while he was rushing out of the house? 

Turning around, he was immediately faced by an angry Rich Goranski. Yikes, it's true what they say, the small ones are the ones that bite. As soon as he thought of it, Rich hit him in the chest, hard. There wasn't enough room as it is for the two of them. Fighting wouldn't be the best idea. "The fuck was _that _for, asshole?" Michael hissed, hand on his chest. Maybe he was being dramatic, but hey, he was irritated about the situation, too. But he'd rather sacrifice him and Rich sleeping in a closet together for one night instead of getting the others in trouble. It was his fault, he agreed to this, after all.

"This is all your fucking fault, now we can't get out! Fuck." Rich ran a hand through his hair, stress clear. He leaned against the wall, his head just shy of hitting the closet railing before he slid down to sit, hugging his knees. Michael pursed his lips. It _was_ his fault....

"I'm sorry." Michael whispered, leaning against the door and sliding down as well, hugging himself. It was cold in there, not much air to breathe either. Michael wasn't claustrophobic, thankfully. But Rich... "Are you okay?"

Rich paused before looking up at him, his eyes straining in the darkness. "Don't talk to me." He grumbled after a few seconds of silence. Rich was nervous, he could tell. Rich never used to like being in small spaces for long periods of time, he's known him for longer than Jake has. If Jake knew that, he doubted that Jake wouldn't have barged into the girls' room to find the key. Or maybe he was too drunk. God, Michael, stop thinking about Rich. He doesn't like you, he doesn't even want to talk to you. Why should you think about him? So what if he's nervous, he's been a piece of shit to you for years, he wasn't the same Rich that Michael used to play video games and share a Slurpee with.

His train of thought was cut off when he heard a sniff. He looked up and realized that they were facing each other, feet almost touching but it seemed as though Rich was trying to pull his legs close to him to avoid touching Michael. "Rich-"

"Don't. I'm fine. Shut up, please. Just leave me alone." Rich whispered quietly, but it was obvious that he was upset.

Maybe Michael had missed him. Maybe he wanted to comfort Rich. Maybe it was all an act on Rich's part, maybe he was just trying too hard to fit in. He wasn't like Michael, Rich cared about his reputation come high school, he kept complaining to Michael about how much he was bullied, especially with his lisp. Maybe...though he had corrected his lisp, he's still the same old Dick that Michael knew from the beginning. Before he changed his nickname, his style, colored his hair. Before he was an asshole to Michael and Jeremy, even. 

Wouldn't that be nice? It's just never going to happen, Michael thought. Never. People usually change for the worse. 

Michael breathed out, closing his eyes before reaching back and tugging his hoodie off and tossing it in Rich's direction, leaving him in a long sleeved shirt. That was good enough for him. He was used to the cold, his moms never let him turn the thermostat on on cold days so he had to deal with it. As much as he loved his moms, they were stingy as all Hell. The hoodie landed on top of Rich and he peeked from under it. "Eh-"

"Take it, you're cold. I'll be fine without." Michael hummed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

He didn't know when it happened, and whether Rich said anything else, because the moment he opened his eyes again it was due to a crack of shining light before the closet door opened. "Whoa..." Jake breathed out, seeing their position. Somewhere through the night, Rich leaned against him. And Michael wrapped his arms around the smaller teen, possibly for warmth. But his chin was on Rich's head, Rich curled up against him. Michael flinched at the light before fixing the glasses on his face (that, yes, he forgot to take off), blinking to adjust his eyes to the light. "I didn't realize how close you both are. How long has this been going on, Mell?" Jake had a teasing smile on his face, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

Michael gulped and pushed Rich off of him, in turn making the boy wake up with a start, holding himself up before he face-planted into the side of the closet. "What the _fuck, _Mell-"

"It's not what it looks like." Michael responded quickly, eyes flickering from Jake to Jeremy who was peering over, close behind him. "It really isn't. We were just-"

"Sure, sure." Jake hummed and turned around. "Bus is leaving in fifteen, Mr Reyes said!" He announced as he walked to the door, leaving them on their own. 

"I- I uh...is this a bad time?" Jeremy asked nervously, fidgeting as he looked at the two of them before making eye contact with Michael. Michael's heart stopped. Jeremy saw them...oh God. 

"No! No, it isn't! I just-"

"How about I wait outside?" Jeremy gestured before backing up, leaving without another word. Michael sighed before pushing himself up. He was irritated that he became too careless. He didn't even realize what he was doing, and now he felt like tearing up or screaming. Or maybe he should smoke. Fuck, he didn't bring much to this trip....

As Rich watched Michael get up, he felt something. An unfamiliar feeling. He...didn't like it. He breathed out and pushed himself up, accidentally bumping shoulders with Michael. He paused and looked up at Michael but was met with a harsh glare before the taller boy walked off. Oh...oh no. He knew this feeling. He felt this years ago towards Michael. This wasn't good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Give kudos and comment me what you think! I'll be on Twitter and Instagram @amoamicah so just follow me there and expect me to update you on the next update soon!
> 
> xo  
micah

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this, give kudos and comments! It would be much appreciated! ❤️❤️


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